Tuesday, March 15

The future (and it's a mystery)

My office stands by the banks of the Tyne. When I got in this morning it was high tide and before starting work I watched the cormorants for a while.

They spend their time diving under the water and stay down for about a minute in some cases. I wondered what they eat. Judging by the expanse of mud uncovered at low tide they must exist mainly on traffic cones, bricks, supermarket trolleys and tree branches washed down the river. I’m surprised the supermarket trolleys haven’t accounted for quite a few. I thought they would get their heads caught between the bars of the basket and drown. So far I haven’t seen any dead cormorants hanging from the trolleys at low tide. The water must be cleaner than I think or they are luckier than anyone would believe.

The Celts used to throw stuff into rivers and lakes. Swords, spears, gold torcs and other finery. The archaeologists have constructed fine theories about why they did this. I wonder if in years to come (say about 2000 years to throw a “for instance” into the discussion) the archaeologists will try to form a picture our civilisation from the stuff deposited into the river. The bricks and the cones may convince them that a splendid temple devoted to cone shaped icons and wire baskets on wheels worship existed somewhere on the banks of the mighty Tyne.

I wonder if the supermarket names sealed under the Perspex on the trolley handles will survive. Will our future archaeologists try to link the name to a particular God or Goddess? Will they know the significance of the Deity known as Tescos? What about Netto? Safeway no longer exists, and the question WHY needs to be asked and answered by our intrepid archaeologists.

Will the results be skewed by regional differences and the habit of some supermarkets obliging you to lock a £1 coin into the trolley to release it from its mating position with the others? For example Morrisons seems to be confined to the North of the country, AND they are one of the “£1 for the loan of the trolley” supermarkets. Therefore it is less likely that one of their trolleys will be thrown into a river (who will throw £1 away?) and they will be thrown into Northern rivers or lakes. Will our archaeologists wonder about the regional distribution of the God? How will they explain the use of these artefacts? What purpose will they think they served? What if a supermarket trolley park somehow survives? Will they think that this was a place where people bought the votive offerings and then transported them to waterways to make their sacrifices?

Will I ever complete this CAD drawing? Who knows? Sod it. I’m off for a cuppa from the drinks machine. I’ll leave the cormorants to their own devices.

1 Comments:

Blogger Iravan said...

Weird. I always thought the Rettop Method was the best for generating traffic. I am going to book mark this blog, nice topics discussed

By the way... I have a online traffic school site. It pretty much covers Traffic related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)

7:43 a.m.  

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