Tuesday, March 22

Politics, logic and soundbites

The election campaign is in full swing and our political “Masters” are indulging themselves in their usual vilification. It makes for an amusing spectacle provided you don’t take it seriously. I enjoy watching the various issues being hijacked in turn by the different parties and each trying to outbid each other on the issue. “To prevent a crime, HMG will amputate two legs of offenders” said the Home secretary. “This is typical of the half measures and shilly shallying of the Opposition. Vote for US and we pledge to amputate AT LEAST three legs of the offenders, with the option of amputating more if they repeat the offence”. Eh? Gob in gear, brain in neutral. I’m just waiting for a similar (if less extreme) reaction from the politicians.

For example, the issue of “Gay” people. In my opinion, it is a daft way to categorise your entire life based on your sexual preferences. Me? I’m a leg and backside with dark hair man so naturally I must despise anyone who doesn’t share my preferences? Somehow I think that to define me solely on that basis is insulting. You are discarding 99.9% recurring of my personality, character and interests which can, and do, occupy a much larger segment of my life.

I seem to have known plenty of gay men throughout my life (though I’m heterosexual – I have never seen a bloke I fancy and I’m unlikely to be persuaded otherwise) and if I liked or disliked them, it wasn’t because of their sexuality. So I find the scrambling for the gay vote a bit perverse. I’d say that the vast majority of people aren’t gay (I’d estimate 95% but the point I’m making cannot be dismissed because I got the percentage point amiss) and to skew the whole of society on the basis of a minority is being vastly unfair to the majority. However I’m having doubts about the credentials of our own dear Saint Tone of Sedgefield when he states that he can foresee Britain accepting a fully gay PM (see the link here http://news.scotsman.com/latest.cfm?id=4283378) . Mind you, if I was married to his grinning gargoyle of a wife, I’d look for something else to occupy the left side of the bed too …

I sometimes feel like mischievously introducing a new category of minority group and see the Politicians squirming to get the votes on board. How about The Gay Pensioner (over 80’s) Gnome Collecting and Ferret Breeding Society? What is the government doing to alleviate the terrible social stigma that these people are labouring under and the prejudice they face, eh? What are the politicians doing to address the needs of this section of society? How about a council tax rebate and State provided sheds to house the ferrets and gnomes? How about introducing tax breaks to encourage them to set up a cottage industry to open up their Gnome collections as tourist attractions? (Ooops!!! “Cottage” might be a pejorative term when applied to gays so we’ll have to think of a less antagonistic term to describe it). Indeed this group could lead a renaissance of wealth and tourism activity in marginally deprived areas. Or perhaps it is a load of bollocks and we should allow these people to pursue their particular interests without massive state interference and funding. It would be interesting to see the reaction if such a group did exist though …

Then there is the matter of the East Coast Main line – GNER has just committed up to £100 MILLION a year to run the franchise – a useful little earner for the Government coffers and four times the £25 million it paid the last time. Now let me outline the contradiction here. See if you can spot it. Cars are the “Great Satan” and according to the various clap trap spouted by the various politicians (notably Two jags Prescott) we must give up our cars and use Public Transport.

Let’s examine the options. If I go to a local auction I can buy a banger of a car for £100, put petrol into it and drive to London and back. Say a tank full each way at £35 to £40 a tank. Total cost £180 maximum. Cheapest rail ticket (via Virgin trains buying a standard – cattle class - at short notice) £187. Now bear with me on this one – I know it takes a genius of a politicians stature to see the flaws in my logic – but for a single person, this is a saving of £7 and if MORE THAN ONE person travels, the savings are greater. If a group of 4 travels, the train tickets can cost £748. So clearly the benefits of using public transport are so obvious that only you stupid people would wish to stick to your cars in the face of the evidence.

If GNER has paid £100,000,000 per year for the franchise, guess what will happen to the price of rail travel? Or perhaps I need a politician to point out to me the flaw in my argument.

They haven’t got the moral courage to face up to their actions. It is always someone else’s fault. For example, fly tipping by commercial firms is skyrocketing. It has got nothing whatsoever to do with the £10 to £20 waste levy imposed by the “green is good so we must tax you for anything we can think up that we can justify by our warped logic”. I’ve read that you cannot dispose of tea bags into a council compost bin as they are animal products (they may contain traces of milk) so must be treated in the same way as an anthrax riddled cattle carcase.

So if you are a commercial organisation and wish to dispose of ordinary household waste (say an office or similar) you will be charged heavily. Easiest solution? Fly tip!

But it isn’t the politicians that have caused this. Oh, deary me no!

I could go on but the utter pointlessness and stupidity of it all is sapping my will to live.

All I can do is treat it all with distain and look for the utter logicality of their statements. Should keep me busy over the next few weeks.

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